she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
