He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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