What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
