You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
