Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
