Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
