There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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