I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
that's an acceptable place to lick
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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