Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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