Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
