My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
