im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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