I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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