Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
