What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize