I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's rum buckets o'clock
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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