Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize