i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
