She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
