Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize