Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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