We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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