just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
