THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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