if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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