College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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