He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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