i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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