Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize