Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
