wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
