btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
