I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
