Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize