I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
