With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my shit smells like andre
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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