But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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