she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize