I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize