I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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