just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
