Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
