Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
