you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
