I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
