do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
