I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize