I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
