The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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