lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
