some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
