I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
