I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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