Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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