Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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