U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
