well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
