dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize