i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
