haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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