Cold hands, warm shart.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Randomize
