But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
