Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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