I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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