I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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