I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
