its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
