They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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