No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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