Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
