Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just invented taco cereal.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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