you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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