You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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