i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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