whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
