haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
