Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize