honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
