My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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