Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
